Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster of Family Law
When I initially meet with a potential client to discuss what has brought them to me, I always ask the same question, “What has you looking for a family law attorney, today?” Sometimes I get a response of “Well, I am not sure if I need an attorney or not.” Usually by the end of the consultation, however, I have shown them that there is a significant reason why they need to hire an attorney specializing in family law. The main reason: emotions. Often when they come in or call for a phone consult, they don’t really realize they have built up strong emotions. And a consultation is an emotional roller coaster. The question is, do you want to ride the emotional roller coaster alone, or do you want to have someone there to help you get through it?
What do I mean by an emotional roller coaster? Here is how I explain it to most people. Often when you are going through a situation that lands you in Family Court, there is a wide assortment of emotions. Whether the feelings are good, bad, or indifferent, there are still feelings. Honestly, you will most likely feel all three on multiple occasions throughout the process. These can be because a marriage is ending, and it is hard to come to terms with it. Or maybe the other parent is withholding the child(ren), someone you trusted has committed some unbelievable transgression, or you may just be simply over a chapter in your life and are ready to move on. Nonetheless, even when you are at a point where you think your emotions are indifferent, hearing a person say something completely inaccurate in court can turn your emotions to bad and create anger towards that person. This is especially true during a trial that lasts for several hours, you have spent months preparing for, and then you lose track of time and do not have enough time to get everything out that you wanted. Up and down, up and down, flipping loops…it just continues.
Besides feelings, you also have your own life that you are trying to live that controls your emotions. You may have school, work, children, sports, etc. Nonetheless, do you have the full-time to commit to learning the Arizona Rules of Family Law Procedure? Your emotions may get the best of you leading you to say, “Never mind, I give up. I want to withdraw the case.” But it doesn’t work like that. Many people do not realize that there are certain things that have to happen to get a case dismissed. Which leads to my next question: Did you know that as a “self-represented party” you are expected to know and follow all the rules just like any family law attorney should? You are expected to adhere to the timelines, following of all procedures, and disclose all information in the proper method. This can be overwhelming and overload your emotions and send your emotional roller coaster to a dark hole.
We get clients from all various stages of the divorce process. Many times, they come because what they originally thought would be simple turns in to a real nightmare because they didn’t realize how much work went into it, and they are emotionally overwhelmed. Or worse yet, the other side hired an attorney and the person now looking for one now, got worked over in court because they weren’t aware of all the things they were supposed to do – then they feel completely defeated.
Fortunately, none of that matters when you hire an experience family law attorney. We step into your place in the litigation. We have years of studying, passing the Bar exam, and years of practice to demonstrate that we know what it is that we are doing. Talk about being on an emotional roller coaster. While this may not be your full-time job, and while yes, we may have our own families and kids and lives, this is our full-time job. So by stepping into your shoes, we can ensure that you don’t miss any deadlines and keep you on the right path to avoid making costly mistakes that could jeopardize your case. (That one, I must say, it is VERY IMPORTANT to listen and DO what we tell you to do. We don’t just say it because we can, we say it because we have seen it bite someone because of the same actions.) We sit beside you on the emotional roller coaster, and help you until the roller coaster stops.
Just like you, we are human, too. We have the same emotions (yes, lawyers have emotions, shocking, I know) that you do. The difference is, because we do not have that emotional connection to the person on the other side, we can be there with a pair of imaginary scissors cutting those strings that the other person is pulling from your heart and emotions. We can give you guidance and help you hold on to hope. So while we are with you on the emotional roller coaster, we have our eyes open and are looking for the things that you may not see because you are too scared to open your eyes. And we like to ride with our hands up in the air!
These are very difficult when you are emotionally invested in the relationship. You are too close to the situation and while your “fight or flight” instinct may kick into gear and you may react to a situation that had you not been emotionally invested in or too close to it, you would not have. That’s what hiring an attorney does for you. It allows you to continue to focus on what matters during this emotional roller coaster, like work, kids, school, faith, and your own health. So when I say I can help you in fighting your case, I may not be able to promise you an outcome, however, I can promise that I am a fighter in your corner, and I am going to fight until I have no fight left, because I don’t have the emotional attachment to the person who you are going up against. I won’t pull my punches.
Please give me call at (480) 833-1113 to schedule your free consultation to discuss your family law case.
Attorney Profile: Stacy L. Porter
My Areas of Law:
Divorce and Family Law Attorney