As a divorce attorney in Mesa, Arizona the one thing I know for sure, divorce is hard. It is the end of something that usually began with the best intentions and a bright future. For some people it is an emotional relief but for most it brings about a lot of pain. I’ve been cheated on and I’ve had my heart broken before. It is awful. Friends and family tried to help by offering little sayings such as, “There are plenty of fish in the sea. Time heals all things. It’s for the best. You were too good for her.” If anything those sayings usually made me feel worse.
Dr. Sheri Meyer, a psychologist and marriage and family therapist, offers a number of helpful tips to get through the emotions of a break-up in her online article ‘It’s Over!’ 10 Breakup Survival Tips to Get You Through It.
A few of these include:
- Don’t overeat or self medicate with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or coffee.
- Get plenty of sleep
- Let yourself feel your feelings instead of trying to repress them
- Remind yourself of the things you’re grateful for
- Give to others
Another tip I have that I’ve found helpful myself and with my clients is to stop seeking out information about your ex. In the digital world we live in, it is often easy to find out what your ex is up to, who he/she is dating, etc. Don’t go to your ex’s blog. If you’re friends on Facebook, defriend your ex and don’t check on his/her page if it is public. (There are other reasons to be wary about Facebook during a divorce as I’ve explained in my previous article “Facebook as Evidence in Family Law Court? Sustained!”. You likely have many mutual friends and family member; don’t ask them how your ex is doing. By constantly seeing how your ex is moving on in life, you reopen the wound. It is hard but make a commitment and stay away. You need to move on.
As an attorney, I can guide someone through a divorce and make that part as stress-free as possible by handling the court deadlines and dealing with the other party. However, during or after the divorce process, you may also want to consider a personal counselor to help you get through the mix of emotions. One thing that I’ve found has been true of all of my clients is that they are stronger than they know. You will get through the divorce and there will be happy times again.